A Mother's Love.

I remember when I was little, my mom was my everything. She was my best friend and we were super close (still are). If I even thought of her dying or being away from her for a long time, I would start crying. I always believed that I loved her more than she loved me. She would tell me that I was wrong and she loved me more than I loved her. I always believed she was wrong.

Then, I became a mom. I now believe my mom was right. There is no way my kids love me more than I love them. There’s just no way. All the months of pregnancy, the labor, delivery, the sleepless nights, all the worry, all the smiles, all the tears, all the firsts, all the sacrifices… there’s just no way. 

I don’t know what I’d do without my boys. I really don’t. When I say they are my everything, I mean that. 

Sibling Love

Forgive me if this post is all over the place. Often times, I have a hard time finding the right words to say and when it comes to how I feel about my children, words often don’t do it justice. 

I remember when Tayven was our only child. He was our world. I couldn’t imagine even having another child. Then, he turned 2 years old. He was already very independent for a 2 year old. A few weeks after his birthday, I found out I was pregnant. I already had “baby fever” a bunch of times before that. I was so happy and excited, but at the same time I was so scared and sad. Was I taking all the attention away from Tayven? Will I love the next baby the same as I love Tay? Will I be able to share my love between the two? 

Tayven was always around adults and sometimes a few cousins, but other than that he was pretty lonely. He would always want to be outside and play with the neighborhood kids. When Trenton was born, Tayven was amazing with him. I couldn’t wait until Trenton was big enough so they could really play. 

Then, we tried to conceive Titan and got pregnant when Trenton was 11 months old. They were going to be pretty close in age. Again, I couldn’t wait to see how Tay and Trent would be with the new baby.

The point I’m getting at is that it warms my heart when I see all of my boys playing together. It is one of the greatest feelings ever. A great feeling next to the feeling of giving birth. To see them interact, to play, to kiss or hug each other, and to help one another is absolutely amazing. Yes, siblings often fight lol but even through the fighting they still love each other at the end of the day. 

Sometimes I’ll catch them in the sweetest moments. One time I caught Tayven reading to his little brothers. There was another incident where I took the two boys to play on the playground in our complex (which is right across the parking lot and I could see it from our living room window). Titan was sleeping in the house so I had to keep checking on him. Well, Titan woke up so I had the boys come inside but Trenton wouldn’t listen. Titan was screaming, so I went into the apartment to get him and I told Tayven to go get Trenton and bring him home. I watched from the living room window (I was nursing Titan) as Tayven held his brothers hand and made Trenton look both ways in the parking and then they crossed together. It was one of the sweetest moments that I’ll never forget. Some other times are the random cuddles and kisses they give each other out of the blue. 

I can’t imagine Tayven ever being an only child anymore. A lot of the time I have a hard time even remembering what it was like to just have one kid. With each kid you have, it’s hard to ever imagine what life was like before them. 

I love my boys. :)

Kids in their own beds.

I cleared out Titan's playpen (it turned into storage somehow.. haha) and put a new blanket down. After I got him out of the shower, I nursed him and when he fell asleep I put him in the playpen. Of course, right when I laid him down he sat up and started crying. Then, he realized he was in the playpen and started screaming. Instead of picking him up, I walked out leaving the door cracked open a bit. 

I was reminded why I NEVER could do the cry it out method. He is already 13 months old and it still broke my heart. He was crying so hard and Tayven kept wanting to check on him but I told him not to. It was so sweet because Tay was really sad about hearing Titan cry. :( It was only like 3 or 4 minutes before I went in to grab him. I calmed him down and nursed him. This time I finally waited till he was really asleep and then put him in the playpen. He's been asleep for almost an hour. Oh boy it's going to be SO HARD if he doesn't wean himself and I have to do it. "/

Also, starting two nights ago Tayven and Trenton have been sleeping in their own bed in their room. Trenton was still sleeping with me (out of habit not because he HAD to). He had no problem whatsoever sleeping with Tay in his own room. :D 

Now, I just have to work on them going to bed earlier and getting up earlier. *sigh*

Getting dressed

I'm not sure at what age children usually do this and I can't remember at what age Tay and Trent started doing this, but Titan is already helping me to get him dressed! He has been doing this for a few weeks so since he was 12 months old.

He puts his head through the shirt hole and sticks his arms through the arm holes. When I hold the pants down near his legs, he lifts his leg and puts his feet through. Then when it's time to put on his shoes, he sits down and lifts his foot up for me. I think it is so cute! :)

Now, if he would just lay still for the changing of his diapers! :P

Clothing sizes

Titan is 13 months old and is wearing clothes mostly in 18 months (some things vary depending on brand).

Trenton is 2 yrs old and is wearing mostly 4T.

Tayven is 5 yrs old and is wearing size 8.

My big boys. :)

Family & Food + My Birthday part II

After picking up our food from Applebee's I HAD to have Jamba Juice. I haven't been to Jamba Juice since before we left Hawaii. So, I got me a Peanut Butter Moo'd, which is the only thing I get from there lol.
Then we stopped at 711 to grab some shrimp chips and Hawaiian Sun juice.

When we got to 711, we grabbed the juice but couldn't find the shrimp chips. When we got to the register, I asked the guy cashier if they had run out of the shrimp chips and he said no "the Hawaii section was in the back." So, I walked behind the cashier area and OMG I was ecstatic! They had everything I've been craving since we moved here except for teri patties. They had mochi crunch, li hing mui candies, the Hawaii diamond crackers, laulau. kalua pig, manapua, portuguese sausage, and redondo's red hot dogs!!! That made my night! We landed up going back to the motel, working on some homework, watching TV, and then going to bed. 

This morning we checked out, went to 711 and grabbed some Hawaii grindz! 

Then we drove back home. 

Just because.. here are some pictures of the boys in the hotel room.

Family & Food + My Birthday part I

Our original plans were to go to Vegas, but due to a few different reasons, we decided not to travel that far. Instead, we drove up to Provo. One reason was to use our gift cards and the other was to spend some time out of our little town and sort of celebrate my birthday. Here are some pictures on our way up there:

we rented a motel room for the night, took our bags to the room, and looked up where Olive Garden was (where one of our gift cards were for).

Here's the motel room. 

 I've always wanted to eat at Olive Garden. In Hawaii, I would see commercials and I would drool! It was such a tease since Hawaii doesn't have an Olive Garden! 

This is my ziti! It was sooo yummy!!

After eating, we drove around and looked at what kind of stores and restaurants there were (for future trips) and then we hung out in the room and watched TV. 

For dinner we ordered Apple Bee's Carside to go (another of the gift cards were for here). I got the Philly Burger 

Continued in next post..

Tayven & Titan's doctor appointment

Titan’s stats at 12 months 3 weeks old were: 25 lbs (77%) & 33 in. (99%)

He cried when the nurse just touched him! He screamed whenever they came in the room. He screamed when the doc was looking in his ears and mouth.. and of course, he screamed for the shots. He just did not want to be there! lol poor kid. 

Tayven’s stats at 5 yrs & 5 months old were: 73 lbs (100%) & 48.75 in. (99%)

He did REALLY well. He had to get 2 shots in his thighs.. and oh man he took it like a champ. It was sad for me because he’s my eldest and he is so mature for his age. It’s almost like he knows he’s the big brother and has to be a big boy :( When the needles went in he was like “ow ow,” and he looked like he wanted to cry but he was embarrassed to do so. How sad is that? I hugged him after the nurses were done and told him how proud of him I am. 

At Trenton’s last appt. his weight was too much for his height, so the doc told me that he would have a nutritionist call me. She called but I never called back. To me, he’s just a growing boy lol. Today, because of how much Tay weighs, he mentioned a nutritionist again and I said ok… because lately my husband has brought it up that Tay eats a lot. When I make his plate, it’s almost as much as mine and sometimes he even asks for second. Their pedi wasn’t too concerned about obesity and such because he said they are bound to be big (look at their dad) but he said it wouldn’t hurt to start giving healthier foods and I agree. 

Milestone wise they’re both great and Tay exceeds things for his age lol. Tay is a smarty pants! :)

"We'll see"

When my siblings and I were younger and would ask my mom if we could go somewhere or do something, she’d always say we’ll see. We came to realize that whenever she said we’ll see, it usually meant no.  Whenever I asked her something and she said “I don’t know we’ll see” or “maybe we’ll see,” it would drive me nuts. I never understood why she couldn’t just say no from the get go! 

Now that I’m a mom and have kids that can talk and ask for things, I now know why she said we’ll see instead of just no. When you say no, you get whining, complaining, and crying. When you say we’ll see, it keeps them from asking for a few minutes and if you’re lucky they might drop it and forget about it. lol 

“Mom, can we play outside today?”

“No, son. It’s too cold today and I think it might snow.”

“But moooomm.. we went outside yesterday! Haaaww!!”

It should have wen’t like this..

“Mom, can we play outside today?”

“Maybe, son. We’ll see.”

“Ok, mom. 

lol… so yeah .. now I know why my mom said “We’ll see” instead of no. :P

I love my boys!

Our Christmas

I'm blogging about this a little late, but better late than never, right?

I'll start off by saying that this year we weren't able to buy our boys anything. With both of us being students, finally purchasing a vehicle last month after needing one for a year, and paying rent, we had no extra to buy gifts. We were expecting gifts from my mom and younger sister, since they told us they got the kids some gifts but that's it.

Last Monday after Tay's Christmas performance, we were hanging out in the living room when we heard our doorbell ring. I opened the door and no one was there. There was, though, quite a few gifts! The boys were so excited that Santa had arrived a few days early. About a half hour later, there was a knock at the door. Again, no one was there but there were a few more gifts! I couldn't believe it. I had tears of joy and gratitude to know that people care about my kids and us. There are great people still out there. Thanks to the kind people from church, some friends and some family, my boys had a great Christmas when we weren't expecting much at all.

On the morning of Christmas Eve, we drove up to Salt Lake City to my husband's uncle and aunty's house. It was good to see everyone. The boys, of course, were excited to see their cousins. They played with them the whole time we were there. On Christmas morning, all the kiddos opened their gifts. My boys got gifts from their cousin's. It was so very nice of them. I also got a gift from them--some socks and lotion. That afternoon, we went to my husband's aunty's family's house. It was a lot more traditional than the other parties I have been to with my husband. There were "talks" given and prayers said all in Tongan. The adults sang songs in Tongan too.

Anyway, there was a lot of food! My boys decided to act up (Trenton was tired and Titan was tired and hungry), so I didn't really get to eat, but my husband's cousins grabbed a huge foil pan and put some food in it for us to bring home. Lu Pulu, tapioca, mussels,and octopus in coconut milk, ribs, ota, pig, noodles, and lots of desserts. We got home, warmed it up, and ate like we were starving. I love Tongan food! Lu pulu is my favorite. I swear I could eat it every day. :P

I can't wait for the next time I can eat Tongan food. I think it'll be in April for my husband's friends farewell. He's going on his mission. :)

So, overall, we all had a great Christmas. Of course, I missed my family but it was so much better than staying home and being sad.

Salt Dough Keepsake Ornament

I got this idea from Moments of Mommyhood.

The hubby said we should paint them, but I'm not so sure. It was fun to do, not a lot of ingredients/materials needed, and not so much of a mess to clean up Here is how ours turned out:

Today was great!

I haven't had a day go this well in a LONG time. Today was Tayven's Christmas performance/party. I woke up and then woke Tayven up. His bus decides to come on time instead of 10-15 minutes late, so Tay isn't ready. I landed up having to drop him off. I got home, got the two kiddos ready, and the hubby got ready. Since my digital camera broke, I had to stop at the store to buy a disposable camera. I decided to stop at the store nearest Tay's school instead of Walmart and had no idea where it was. I asked a cashier, waited in line, and finally were were on our way to his school.

I was bummed when I arrived and they had already sung their songs. :( We weren't even that late and the performance was done. When we showed up, they were decorating gingerbread houses. Trenton and I sat with Tay and helped him decorate his. The hubby was holding Titan and taking pictures of us. Then, they had some surprise visitors! Santa and Mrs. Claus came!! Tayven and Trenton both sat on his lap and talked to him. . Tay's teachers told me to get Titan up there too and Mrs. Claus said she would hold him. He was fine until he turned and look up to see who was holding him and he screamed! lol Good thing I got some pictures before he started screaming.

I was talking to his teacher and asking how he was in school. I asked if he was shy and she said no, far from it. She said when they were practicing singing Christmas songs, Tay was the loudest hehe. She said he talks and plays great with the other kids, but when it was time to perform in front of the parents he got shy and didn't want to do it. I felt kinda better that I didn't miss much since he was too shy but it stinks that he's like me and is shy in front of people.

We got some cookies and hot cocoa before leaving. We had a good time. I'll get pictures up when we get the camera developed.

Anyway, we got home to our CLEAN house (we'll see how long this lasts hehe), ate lunch, and now everyone is taking a nap but me.

5 things people should know about me.

1. I am honest. I seriously rarely lie and if I do it's probably just a fib. I just see no point in lying. Most liars ALWAYS get caught. I grew up having to lie for my mom and hated it. I despise being lied to. I simply just don't get it. WHY?! I have lied in the past, but oh boy did it come back and bite me in the butt. I've learned from that and everyone should just try their hardest to be honest. It's lovely! ;)

2. I am loyal. If someone were to give me a chance to be that close friend, I would be a dang loyal friend. I haven't had a "best" friend besides my husband since 9th/beginning of 10th grade. Maybe it's because I have kids now, maybe it's because people are just so shady and don't give me a chance, or maybe it's just because I'm not really sociable at the moment because I'm always stuck at home. Either way, I just don't have close friends near me right now. I care about people and am always willing to help someone out.

3. Do not mess with my kids! Seriously, just don't even try. I'm tiny (kind of lol), I am nice, sometimes shy, but you will experience a not so nice me if you mess with my children. :)

4. I am very open minded. Yes, people say they are open minded all the time, but they really aren't. Whenever a debate occurs, I always hear and try my best to understand both sides. I am what they call a "fence sitter." When people believe in something different from me (such as religious views), I never push my views on them nor do I tell them they are wrong. I even am curious to hear what they believe. Another example of me being open minded is that I am Mormon. Basically, we believe gay marriage is wrong and it should be between a man and woman, we believe in modesty, we believe in lots of things lol but my point is that I have family members and friends IRL and on Facebook that are gay, do not dress modestly, get tattoos, piercings, drink coffee, etc. I love them all even though I don't believe in their choices.

5. Heavenly Father, Jesus Christ, the gospel, and my family are everything to me. :)

On my mind this week.

10 things on my mind this week.. in no particular order.

1. Looking for a car to buy. Who would have thought it would be SO HARD to find a decent car that runs with no mechanical problem and is in our price range? It is beyond frustrating and we are desperate.

2. Finding a washer/dryer. We have so much dirty laundry; it's not even funny. Having to get a ride and have money to get quarters, having to drag my kids with me to wash clothes, and with 5 of us, I can just never keep up. It's ridiculous.

3. Going home to Hawaii to visit! I just keep thinking about going back and hoping the weeks will just fly on by. I can't wait for so many things.

4. Thanksgiving.. wondering if we will celebrate or not.

5. Art and Crafts to do with the boys. I bought some finger paint, so I think we will be doing that this week.. Well, if I can get most of my school work squared away.

6. Crochet! I have a bunch of projects I am working on and projects I want to work on. hehe

7. Homework/School. I have papers to write, peer reviews to do, along with discussions and other assignments. I hate having homework always on the back of my mind when I'm trying to do family things and housework. It stresses me out.

8. Finding our cell phone. Ugh. :( I wish it would just pop up.

9. Errands I need to run and paperwork I have to fill out. Stuff for Tay's school, for hubby's school, and for the boys' doctor.

10. How fast my boys are growing :(

and the thanks continues..

November 5th- I am thankful for friends and neighbors-- the ones that left and those that are still here. We definitely appreciate all that they have done for us. From giving us rides, having us over for dinner, coming to our house for dinner, playing with our kids, and to just hanging out. They have made moving here and being away from family a lot easier.  


November 6th- This day was also testimony day on Facebook, so I combined my thanks and testimony. :) 

I am thankful for the gospel and for the atonement. I'm thankful for my church and our Prophet Thomas S. Monson. Being baptized was one of the best decisions of my life. Even though we struggle, I know that with Heavenly Father in our lives things will be okay and he will help us through. I look forward to the day that I get sealed in the temple to my husband &children for time and all eternity.

November 7th- 

I am thankful for Trenton because he can drive me nuts and a minute later crack me up. He is rough yet loving, goofy yet caring, and he loves his brothers. I seriously do love him!

November 8th- 

I am thankful for my mom and all that she does for us. I would not be where I am today without her help and support. I appreciate EVERYTHING you have done and still do for us. She does so much for my boys and I can't wait for her to finally meet Titan. I love her and don't know what I would do without her! 

ah sorry!

I can't believe I have been neglecting my blog!

This past weekend we drove down to Cedar City. It was SO nice to get out of our little town and be around some family. We stayed at my hubby's cousins house.  The boys had a blast!! They loved playing with their cousins and didn't want to leave. The drive going there was really long but coming back wasn't so bad. We're now thinking about move down there sometime after next spring. The only thing that sucks about the trip is that after getting home my boys caught a cold. I think it was from playing outside while we were down there and it rained a few times, plus it was a little cold. So, right now my boys all have a cold.

Tayven had a field trip to a pumpkin patch yesterday. He said he had fun. They went through a maze, stopped at a park in Manti, and had snacks. I can't wait for his school pictures to come in!

We're going to be moving into an apartment across the street, so in the next few weeks we'll be extremely busy. I wish I could take off of school. Having to move and try to get homework done will not be fun. My mom got married on October 10th and I am happy for her. She had her reception dinner this past Sunday and said it went well. We are most likely going back home to Hawaii to visit in December and I am beyond excited! :D Lately, I've just been crocheting and dreading any school work. :P

Just a ramble

I haven't been blogging much lately. One, because I have been doing school work, spending time with the boys, and getting other things done. Two, I haven't had much exciting things to blog about.

I'll just talk about some things that's been going on and about the boys-- of course. :)

The hubby and I have been talking and I'm hoping to be able to get the money to go back home and visit sometime before Titan's first birthday. I've been looking around at plane tickets and prices. I really want everyone to meet Titan and get to see Tay and Trent.

Right now, school isn't too stressful. I have two classes. I have keyboarding which is really easy and kinda fun. I also have Math which is just refreshing our memory so it's not too bad so far. I'm sure it'll get harder as the weeks go on.

My boys seriously amaze me. Tayven is learning to read, write, and spell. He's been spelling words like hot, pot, pan, bat, rat, pig, hit, etc. The other night he spelled robot on his own by sounding it out! He loves school! Last week he had show and tell. He took one of his favorite books, "Green Eggs and Ham." We had to give the class three clues so together we chose:
1. my mommy and I share this together every night
2. it's a rectangle shape
3. it goes on a shelf (he came up with this on his own)

Trenton has been going to the toilet by himself, sometimes he just wants me or Tayven to turn on the light for him lol. He is also talking in sentences more. He can put his puzzles together and is learning his colors and to count to 5.

Titan is crawling everywhere and cruising all the furniture in the house. He likes when I hold onto his hands and he walks everywhere. He turned 8 months old almost a week ago. He amazes me because when Tay and Trent are playing in their room, he crawls over there and will sit there playing with his brothers and the toys. I don't know what 8 month old does that? If he wants me or is hungry, he'll just crawl over to me. He's so laid back and mellow!

They are a bunch of loving wild boys! I love seeing them interact with each other. Tayven is a GREAT big brother to both of them(when he's not hitting or fighting with Trenton) and Trent is great with Titan for the most part (sometimes he doesn't pay attention and hits or steps on Titan's fingers/foot or falls over him). I love my boys! :D

English Muffin Pizzas

On Wednesday, we made english muffin pizzas for lunch. 

The boys helped put the toppings on. 

The tomato sauce went on first.

Titan was the audience :)

The cheese went next.

Then the pepperoni got put on after the cheese.

Mommy & Daddy's pizzas had mushrooms on it ;)

The finished products!!

An update since it's been a while

This week has been crazy with school work among other things. This is pretty much my last week of these three classes (I just have a couple things to do next week).  I have a 2 final exams due and a regular weekly exam due this week, along with all of the other assignments, labs, and discussions that I already turned in.

Anyway, I figured I would give an update  =)

Tayven is doing pretty well.  He is bored at home (mostly because I've been busy with school work the last few weeks).  I really wish he was going to school this year-- only for the fact that he wants to go.  My sister, Kandi, sent us a bunch of workbooks that she got from her job, so during my two weeks off after these classes we will be working on those!

Trenton is completely potty trained at 27 months old.  I'm so proud of him! He now can go pee by himself.  He grabs the stool, places it in front of the toilet, then climbs onto the toilet and pees.  All I have to do a bit later is get him to stand and pee.  He is also talking TONS more.  He loves to talk on the phone-- it's his new thing, hehe.  He loves to "fight" (rough & tumble) with Tayven and he loves to bug Titan and make him laugh.

Titan is crazy! He is doing so many things.  He is cruising furniture now and his 4th tooth is currently popping through his gums.  He can start crawling from a sitting position and then sit down from a crawling position.  He's also trying to CLIMB onto the couch and STAND from a crawling position. Basically, he is very mobile.  He calls me mama and reaches for me and daddy.  He does not do too well around strangers, but that is because he is only around us 24/7.  He waved hi for the 1st time today! He loves to "play" with his big brothers and follow them around the apartment.  I think that's pretty much it for right now.

My hubby starts school on Wednesday.  I'm excited for him to get out of this dang house.  It'll be good for him, especially after being cooped up in the house for so long.  The boys and I will miss him though. Like I mentioned above, I get two weeks off in between these classes and the next ones, so I'm super excited to spend time with my boys and get some much needed rearranging done!